Friday, September 30, 2011

{weekend bliss}

Heads up... possibly no posts from me this weekend.  My stomach is depressed.

No really... My brother is getting married and we have family in town (Yay!) and I get to be the photographer.  I am super excited to get a new sister in law and niece. 

In other news... I feel it is my duty to share a couple tidbits....

1.  Rumor says Ashton and Demi are separating.  Awww... for reals?  As if we didn't see that coming.

2.  Taye Diggs is hot.

Carry on...

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

{diet advice}

Now don't be scared.  I'm not going to give you any advice on how to lose weight.  I have just kept a running tab of  (horrible) advice I have received from family, friends, people I don't even know.  And I thought I would share... (You're welcome)  I can't list all of them - these are just some of my favorites.

Eat yourself skinny - according to this friend, if you just eat more of the "right foods" you will lose weight.  Maybe I need a list of those "right foods".

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.  Um, really?  You obviously have never eaten a Krispy Kreme donut.

If you would just work out every day for a month, you could go down to a size 12.  Thank you Captain Obvious.  I am a size 12. 

Have you ever thought that maybe your stomach is depressed?  Huh?  Now I can't take any sort of credit for that one.  This was said to a friend of mine.  But it happens to be one of our favorites.  Wow, maybe my stomach needs therapy.

So here's a little tidbit for those that are giving advice.  And believe me, I am sure I have given advice that was unsolicited.  We all do it.  But here's the thing:  Fat/chubby/overweight people know that they are.  It is no surprise to them/us.  And while you think you have the best intentions, unless you are asked for dieting advice, please don't offer it.  It's kind of like when you see a chubby girl and you think she is pregnant and you pat her belly and say "when are you due".  It's just wrong. 

See?  Now I am giving YOU advice.  What a tangled web we weave...

What's the best/worst advice you have received?

Monday, September 26, 2011


I guess I should've posted the disclaimer first.  I have received a little blacklash from my previous post.  So let's start here...

This blog is entirely my opinion.  And sometimes my opinion is expressed in irreverent, compassionate and peculiar ways.  I don't mean to offend.  Well, sometimes I do but I swear I will not use your real name. 

Just because I call my community "Stepford" does not mean I don't like living here.  Or that I dislike any of my neighbors and friends.  I actually really love them.  Even the skinny ones.

Prepare yourself for winter backlash.  I absolutely hate winter.  I hate the cold.  I love the sun and I get a little cranky when all I see is gray for several months in a row.  You can tell me to move all you want but this is where the honey works and well, I like his paycheck so we are here... for now.

If you know me personally, please keep names private.  I told you I wouldn't use yours so please don't use mine.  There are a lot of creepers out there and even though I love the attention, a girl can only take so much.  You are welcome to refer to me as Queen, MH is my husband and I have 3 Divas.  And believe me - you will get to know them very well. (Okay, really don't refer to me as Queen - Valley Girl is just fine)

I use the word "like"... like a lot.  In fact, anything that says "Valley Girl" is totally me.  So you are welcome to edit my posts as much as you feel the desire to.  But it won't change a thing.  Believe me... many have tried.

I have blogged for years and some of my best friends are other bloggers.  I appreciate anyone that visits my blog.  And I love the feedback.  So please... feel free.  My promise to you is to try to keep you entertained.  And to make fun of myself as much as possible. 

Party on....

Sunday, September 25, 2011

{weight for me]

People have asked me to start a blog where I am totally honest about my weight.  "You are funny and tell it like it is!"  (Do you understand the pressure?) How I got here and how my weight loss journey is so far.  What are my tricks?  What goals have I met?  What are my favorite low fat foods?  Before and after pictures...

Really people.  Let's be honest.  I won't post pictures unless I want to make fun of someone. Like a skinny girl that needs to eat a few hamburgers.  I will be honest about my weight.  I'm chubby.  Did you not read the title?  Let's see... how did I get here?  By eating too many of the aforementioned hamburgers.  Actually, that's not true.  I don't eat that many hamburgers.  I do, however enjoy a generous helping of carbs on a daily basis.  The only goals I have met thus far is exercising daily.  I hate it.  And I am sure I will post my daily complaints.

What does the "Zion" part have to do with my weight loss?  Absolutely nothing.  Or maybe everything.  Who knows?  I live in Stepford.  With lots of skinny - some freakishly skinny - women.  Nothing about me is like them.  And I am okay with that.  Or maybe I'm not.  Only time will tell.

Lots of questions to be answered.  A lot of questions to be asked.  Surprises.  I love surprises.