{weekend bliss}

Heads up... possibly no posts from me this weekend.  My stomach is depressed.

No really... My brother is getting married and we have family in town (Yay!) and I get to be the photographer.  I am super excited to get a new sister in law and niece. 

In other news... I feel it is my duty to share a couple tidbits....

1.  Rumor says Ashton and Demi are separating.  Awww... for reals?  As if we didn't see that coming.

2.  Taye Diggs is hot.

Carry on...

{diet advice}

Now don't be scared.  I'm not going to give you any advice on how to lose weight.  I have just kept a running tab of  (horrible) advice I have received from family, friends, people I don't even know.  And I thought I would share... (You're welcome)  I can't list all of them - these are just some of my favorites.

Eat yourself skinny - according to this friend, if you just eat more of the "right foods" you will lose weight.  Maybe I need a list of those "right foods".

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.  Um, really?  You obviously have never eaten a Krispy Kreme donut.

If you would just work out every day for a month, you could go down to a size 12.  Thank you Captain Obvious.  I am a size 12. 

Have you ever thought that maybe your stomach is depressed?  Huh?  Now I can't take any sort of credit for that one.  This was said to a friend of mine.  But it happens to be one of our favorites.  Wow, maybe my stomach needs therapy.

So here's a little tidbit for those that are giving advice.  And believe me, I am sure I have given advice that was unsolicited.  We all do it.  But here's the thing:  Fat/chubby/overweight people know that they are.  It is no surprise to them/us.  And while you think you have the best intentions, unless you are asked for dieting advice, please don't offer it.  It's kind of like when you see a chubby girl and you think she is pregnant and you pat her belly and say "when are you due".  It's just wrong. 

See?  Now I am giving YOU advice.  What a tangled web we weave...

What's the best/worst advice you have received?

{disclaimer}

I guess I should've posted the disclaimer first.  I have received a little blacklash from my previous post.  So let's start here...

This blog is entirely my opinion.  And sometimes my opinion is expressed in irreverent, compassionate and peculiar ways.  I don't mean to offend.  Well, sometimes I do but I swear I will not use your real name. 

Just because I call my community "Stepford" does not mean I don't like living here.  Or that I dislike any of my neighbors and friends.  I actually really love them.  Even the skinny ones.

Prepare yourself for winter backlash.  I absolutely hate winter.  I hate the cold.  I love the sun and I get a little cranky when all I see is gray for several months in a row.  You can tell me to move all you want but this is where the honey works and well, I like his paycheck so we are here... for now.

If you know me personally, please keep names private.  I told you I wouldn't use yours so please don't use mine.  There are a lot of creepers out there and even though I love the attention, a girl can only take so much.  You are welcome to refer to me as Queen, MH is my husband and I have 3 Divas.  And believe me - you will get to know them very well. (Okay, really don't refer to me as Queen - Valley Girl is just fine)

I use the word "like"... like a lot.  In fact, anything that says "Valley Girl" is totally me.  So you are welcome to edit my posts as much as you feel the desire to.  But it won't change a thing.  Believe me... many have tried.

I have blogged for years and some of my best friends are other bloggers.  I appreciate anyone that visits my blog.  And I love the feedback.  So please... feel free.  My promise to you is to try to keep you entertained.  And to make fun of myself as much as possible. 

Party on....

{weight for me]

People have asked me to start a blog where I am totally honest about my weight.  "You are funny and tell it like it is!"  (Do you understand the pressure?) How I got here and how my weight loss journey is so far.  What are my tricks?  What goals have I met?  What are my favorite low fat foods?  Before and after pictures...

Really people.  Let's be honest.  I won't post pictures unless I want to make fun of someone. Like a skinny girl that needs to eat a few hamburgers.  I will be honest about my weight.  I'm chubby.  Did you not read the title?  Let's see... how did I get here?  By eating too many of the aforementioned hamburgers.  Actually, that's not true.  I don't eat that many hamburgers.  I do, however enjoy a generous helping of carbs on a daily basis.  The only goals I have met thus far is exercising daily.  I hate it.  And I am sure I will post my daily complaints.

What does the "Zion" part have to do with my weight loss?  Absolutely nothing.  Or maybe everything.  Who knows?  I live in Stepford.  With lots of skinny - some freakishly skinny - women.  Nothing about me is like them.  And I am okay with that.  Or maybe I'm not.  Only time will tell.

Lots of questions to be answered.  A lot of questions to be asked.  Surprises.  I love surprises.